Beyond the Self: Awareness as the True Identity

Beyond the Self: Awareness as the True Identity- Unknown

Who am I?

This question has echoed through the minds of philosophers, spiritual seekers, scientists, and everyday individuals alike. In the age of information and identity, it may seem like we know who we are—a name, a body, a collection of memories, thoughts, and emotions. Yet, beneath all these layers lies a deeper curiosity: Am I just this form I see in the mirror, or is there something more fundamental?

This paper explores the realization that what we commonly call “me” is not the ultimate reality of who we are. Instead, it argues that our true nature is awareness itself—the silent, observing presence behind all experiences. This is not a belief to adopt, but a truth that can be directly experienced and reflected upon.

The Illusion of the Constructed Self

From childhood, we are conditioned to build a sense of self. We identify with our name, family, nationality, beliefs, physical appearance, emotions, and thoughts. This identity becomes the story we live by, a character shaped by past experiences and future expectations.

But upon deeper introspection, a subtle truth begins to emerge: everything we call “me” is constantly changing. Our body changes, our beliefs shift, emotions come and go, and even our thoughts are not within our control. Yet something remains constant through all of this—the awareness that observes it all.

The Awareness Behind the Experience

Awareness is not a thing we have; it is what we are. It is the silent witness to everything—sensations in the body, thoughts in the mind, feelings in the heart. When we say, “I am sad,” we are identifying with a passing emotion. But if we pause and observe, we find that sadness arises in awareness—and it passes. The same is true for joy, anger, anxiety, excitement.

This points to a radical insight: you are not the thought, not the emotion, not the role you play. You are the space in which all of it appears.

Across traditions, this has been called by many names: • Consciousness in science and philosophy. • Atman in Hinduism. • Rigpa in Tibetan Buddhism. • The Witness or Presence in spiritual teachings.

But no name can capture it. As soon as we name it, we reduce it to something objective. Yet awareness is not an object. It is the subject the one looking, feeling, knowing.

The Challenge of Letting Go

Recognizing that we are awareness is not always easy. It can feel like the most difficult task, especially when we’ve lived for years with a tightly held sense of identity.

To begin disidentifying from the “me” we have known the ego can feel like entering a vacuum. The familiar narrative starts to dissolve. The stories we’ve told ourselves for years lose their grip. This can be frightening, even disorienting.

But this emptiness is not a loss it is a liberation.

When the false sense of self falls away, what remains is not nothingness, but a still, clear presence. Free from judgment. Free from the burden of being “someone.” It is here that we begin to truly experience the world that is without filters and without fear.

Judgment and Suffering: Born of Identity

Suffering often arises from identification. When we believe, “I am this thought,” or “I am this pain,” we suffer. When we feel insulted, inferior, or rejected, it is because the ego our imagined self feels threatened.

But when we rest in awareness, judgment loses its power. Sadness may still arise, but it’s seen as a temporary wave, not an identity. The need to prove something, defend something, or be right fades.

From awareness, we experience life with clarity and compassion, because we are no longer stuck inside our experiences, we are the space in which they happen.

It’s Not a Goal—It’s a Realization

One common trap is turning this insight into a goal. The mind says, “I need to become awareness.” But this creates another identity the spiritual seeker. The truth is far simpler: you don’t need to become awareness. You already are.

There’s nothing to achieve. Only something to remember.

Living from awareness is not about reaching a state. It’s about being what you’ve always been, before the stories and roles were layered on top.

Attraction, Evolution, and Gendered Perception

One of the most instinctive places we see attachment to the body is in human attraction—especially how men and women perceive each other.

Why are men often more visually attracted to women’s bodies?

To answer that, we can look back to ancient times. During early human evolution, physical traits in women such as body symmetry, waist-to-hip ratio, skin clarity, and youthful appearance were strong indicators of fertility and health. A man, even unconsciously, would assess whether a woman could bear healthy children. This was not based on shallow desire, but on survival. Choosing a healthy mate increased the chances of producing strong offspring.

Over generations, these evolutionary instincts got passed on not just biologically, but also culturally. Today, although reproduction isn’t always the goal, men still tend to respond to physical beauty. Media and society have amplified this tendency, shaped standards of beauty and reinforcing visual attraction. But the root of it is deeper than social influence it’s connected to how human biology evolved.

This visual attraction is not necessarily chosen. It often arises automatically. But with awareness, it can be observed without control or judgment. Attraction itself isn’t wrong it’s the unconscious attachment to it that can lead to suffering or confusion.

On the other hand, women’s perception and attraction patterns often differ. Studies in psychology and neuroscience show that women are more likely to value emotional depth, consistency, confidence, and personality when forming connections. This is also rooted in evolution: women, who carried and nurtured children, needed security and emotional support for long-term survival.

So, when boys and girls encounter each other, their brains may operate from different instincts. Men may be drawn to the body; women may look deeper into behavior. Neither is superior it’s simply the natural difference in how human biology evolved to meet different survival needs.

Yet in the modern world, these patterns don’t have to control us. Through awareness, both men and women can learn to connect beyond instinct beyond appearance or protection and move toward mutual respect, emotional clarity, and soul-level understanding.

What we call “me” is often just a bundle of thoughts, memories, emotions, and roles. While these can serve a purpose, they are not the core of who we are. Beneath them all lies a presence—silent, formless, aware.

This awareness cannot be named or owned. It’s not an object of belief, but the reality of experience itself.

To live from this space is to live in peace not because life becomes perfect, but because we no longer cling to identity. We simply witness, experience, and move through life as the awareness that we are. This isn’t an escape from life—it’s the beginning of truly living.

This isn’t an escape from life—it’s the beginning of truly living.